I’ve been wanting to process our repatriation… process. It’s been just over 3 years now since we moved back to the good ol’ USA after our 3 year stint in Seoul, South Korea.
Seoul was good to us. It’s where I birthed our middle child, and where our 1 year old son turned into a preschooler. It was the jumping off point for our family to explore tons of destinations in Asia we never would’ve dreamed possible. (We were fortunate enough to tour Japan, Thailand, China, Hong Kong, and Vietnam while living in Korea!)
Most importantly, though, it’s just where our little family lived and breathed and did all of the normal, mundane things families do together. We ate breakfast and tried to act out scripture stories and gave the boys their Brother Baths. I’d go jogging in our neighborhood and meet up with Paul for lunch dates and take the boys to the local library.
In other words, Seoul became a place that will forever be important to us for holding 3 years of our history. It was hard to leave. It wasn’t as hard as it was to come (haha), but it was hard. Who knew when we’d be coming back? Or IF we would?
Saying Goodbye
There are so many details to think about and items to pack when you move anywhere- but especially out of the country. One thing I’m really glad I made time for was proper goodbyes. Mostly to the important people..but even to places! We had the luxury of time and knowing we were going to leave. For a few months, I quietly said my goodbyes to each neighborhood, food stop, and park I’d grown to love. My heart broke a little with every final playdate and get together with friends that felt like family!
We took tons of pictures– both of the everyday mundane scenes around our neighborhood, but also with people. I’m so grateful we did.
I cried walking out of our local HomePlus grocery store when I shopped there for the final time (HomePlus you have my whole heart). It’s where I’d bought diapers for my babies’ bums and milk for our cereal bowls. They had toothbrushes and toddler pajamas and overpriced strawberries, and, in short, everything I needed to build a life somewhere so different from my home.
Our Stuff
Don’t even get me started on the logistical nightmare of moving your stuff back across the ocean. We were very fortunate that Paul’s company (Samsung) paid for and coordinated a lot of these details.
We had to wait several (6-8) weeks before our stuff arrived. But what a miracle that movers came and got boxes in out apartment in Seoul and then it somehow crossed an ocean (!!) and a whole lot of land…to ultimately arrive in our driveway in Kansas– the absolute middle of America. And nothing was broken this time around!!! (Beloved Crockpot died on the trek out to Korea–RIP).
The Flight Home
My boys and I flew back at a different time than my husband because of scheduling conflicts. We’d recently found out I was pregnant with our soon-to-be daughter, somewhere in the first trimester. I felt nauseous for the first time of that pregnancy while in the airport, saying goodbye to my husband (and the country I’d grown to love so much). I got nervous the flight(s) would be absolutely terrible, but luckily the nausea didn’t get much worse and my preschooler son was a huge help.
We landed down on American soil in the Atlanta, Georgia airport. A massive American flag hung down from the ceiling as we descended an escalator. I clearly remember the grumpy airport workers and the hassle of hauling all of our carseats and luggage to another section of the airport to re-check them (all while wrangling the cute boys, then a toddler and a preschooler). Despite all of that, I felt I could breathe easy again. I was back home.
How Our Boys (2 and 4) Adjusted
The Good…
Initial excitement to be greeted by their grandparents and their beloved aunt! Airplanes are always a popular form of transportation in our home, because I don’t limit their show time the way I normally do (my favorite toddler and preschooler shows listed HERE!).
The Bad…
The worst week of getting situated without proper cell phone/internet. We were jet lagged. My kids were missing their home and missing their dad (who had to stay behind for a few weeks) but didn’t have the ability to adequately express that in words. I was pregnant enough to be oh so very tired, but not pregnant enough for most people to know.
The Ugly Delightful:
The boys were SO excited about the following 2 Suburban America phenomena:
- neighborhood garbage trucks
- the opening and closing of our garage door.
Thrilled out of their minds.
How I Adjusted to Repatriation
I loveddd walking through Wal-Mart and Target and Trader Joe’s. Couldn’t get enough. Still can’t. SO MANY OPTIONS! CANNED BEANS, YOU GUYS!!!
We also rejoiced about being in a closer time zone to family members. We now celebrate Thanksgiving and birthdays on the same calendar days— not way in the future from everyone else! But with that excitement came the slow realization that the same country isn’t necessarily much closer than the opposite side of the world, for most intents and purposes.
We also mourned the loss of friends that we likely wouldn’t see for a long time. Many of our friends didn’t move from Korea to the U.S.A. like we did. Many stayed for several more years in Seoul, or moved straight to Europe or elsewhere in Asia. And the friends who DID move to America moved to the outskirts and coasts. The pandemic made the travel uncertainty all feel heavier, too.
Blessings of Home
The best part of coming home for me was being greeted by family. And the kindest childhood/lifelong friends with a thoughtful care package. I was lucky to be blessed by a soft landing in my hometown– the city I was born and raised in.
I stepped into a church congregation with familiar faces and a neighborhood I could navigate with my eyes shut (and if you know anything about my sense of direction, this actually matters a lot). 😉
Logistical Tips
Here’s what I wish I would have done/ am glad that I did:
- use your health insurance before it (likely) switches in case that’s going to take awhile! Even if there’s no gap in your insurance, it’s so much easier to go to the dentist you’re used to … versus finding all of the providers from scratch!
- Jet lag is a bear, especially with kids. Melatonin is your friend. Eat cereal with your toddlers at 3 am if you need to, your body will (eventually) adjust back. Get plenty of sunshine during the day to help your body adjust. (This jet lag junk may be second nature to you by this point, but despite the number of times we dealt with this…I love a reminder that this too shall pass. haha)
- Bring more souvenirs than you think you’ll want (a few ideas for Korean goods HERE). I wish we’d brought more. If you’re leaving Korea, stopping for some great skincare may be in order. 🙂
- Donate and give away as much as you can before you move. It took a few years to sort through all of the junk we didn’t give away before we left (it was the pandemic and unfortunately thrift stores were closed at the time).
- Reach out for help if needed! Don’t hesitate to mention that you are just moving in, trying to get settled in. Ask around for plumber recommendations or great youth soccer teams. Moving to another country (even back to your own country), is a big adjustment.
Final Repatriation Thoughts
Realize that you’re coming back home, but YOU are different.
Realize that you’re coming back home and THINGS are different. In every category! From fashion trends and the political climate to the pandemic situation. Everyone we’d left in America had grown and shifted a bit, as happens with time. We had too.
But that’s okay. Good, even. It means you’re heading home with all of the growth and experience you acquired while bravely living somewhere far from home.
That’s it for Repatriation!
Have you lived abroad for awhile and then come back to your country of origin?
How was that experience for you?
I’d love to hear in the comments!
